Wait. Just wait and see.
Blame it on my wild and crazy, runner mentality, I consider that small word, “wait” as painstaking as being dropped in a safari with wild animals chasing me…(a bit dramatic, I know, but the struggle is so real :)) At times, when walking into a period of unknowns, unanswered questions, and fears, I find it so hard to simply wait. I frequently turn to a backup plan or seek a clear “sign” that I’m on the right path versus waiting to see the plan unfold.
However, what if that clear and safe answer never comes.
Do we turn our backs on those dreams?
The past 2 years, have been germinating moments for the virtue of patience in my life. When I was first stepping onto that plane bound for Uganda in 2013, it was so hard to see the bigger picture. It was equally hard to see that clear picture when I was struggling in Uganda to figure out what in the world I was sent there to do. It has been triple challenging seeing that bigger picture over the past 6 months, throughout the process of establishing a non-profit organization and trying to figure out how to share my vision for children with disabilities in Uganda to the world.
If someone had told me upon returning from Uganda in 2014 that in two years time, I would have left my two amazing jobs, established a non-profit organization, and would be traveling back to Uganda to begin a project working with children with disabilities in a rural village with no definite return date, I would have said “you’re CRAZY!”
I never foresaw this path for myself. I never dreamt up this answer to my daily cry of ‘how can I help children with disabilities feel understood?’. I never imagined my days would be filled with accounting, fundraising, meetings and writing business plans.
But, all I do know is that to be a slave to fear is crippling. To live with apathy is suffocating. To live devoid of compassion is numbing. But, to live totally ALIVE in who you were created to be is freeing!
I don’t travel over to Uganda with stars in my eyes of what life in a third world country is like. When push comes to shove, its beautiful, but challenging. I go there with one purpose — To empower Ugandans to see the inherent dignity and beautiful value of a child with a disability.
Children with disabilities can easily be perceived as broken or defective. But in reality, I feel as though, we are the broken ones. Those children are whole. I have discovered abundant life in seeking to understand, serve and love those children with disabilities. I have found healing in my own life by serving them because they know how to perfectly love. I so greatly desire to share this life-giving hope with others.
Hope. Provides a grounding force to all my fears and unanswered questions. Hope. See’s all the unknowns before me as a daring adventure. Hope. Penetrates the inner core of my heart to chase after what seems impossible. In a world I can’t control, I cling to this virtue.
Some might call life a journey of fate. Others might call life a journey of destiny. I call it a journey of learning to rely on something greater then ourselves. I trust that God fashioned the whole universe with a unique design for every single person that walks this earth. It’s in reliance on God and acceptance of His Will, with absolute trust in His goodness, wisdom and faithfulness, that we are enabled to steadfastly hope for what is unseen and what seems impossible.
Throughout life we all journey to seek and find our gifts. The purpose in life is to give those gifts away to others. Where will that take you? Me? Only God knows. But we can rest in assurance that if we chase those selfless dreams with a patient and persevering spirit it will be a beautiful life.